


Road Trip

by WinnietheShit



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Marijuana, Multi, background Darcy Lewis/Loki because I'm trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 15:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14834696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinnietheShit/pseuds/WinnietheShit
Summary: When your camper van breaks down on a cross-country road trip, who else to ask for help but your astrophysicist ex-girlfriend?





	Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> So in my perfect world, after Thor: Ragnarok, Thor and the gang would hit up Jane Foster for help resulting in ot3 hijinks and shenanigans, but I don't want to deal with all the in-world logistics of that, so instead: here's this.

“Well, that didn’t sound good,” said Loki.

Thor gave his brother a look.

Val snorted.  “Doesn’t _smell_ good.”

Thor transferred the look to Val.  She shrugged and took a swig from her bottle.

Heimdall, of course, said nothing, but Thor gave him a look anyway.

“I don’t think that rattling is good either,” said Bruce, looking rather green.  Thor sighed and pulled the camper van over to the side of the road. The car behind them whizzed past in apparent relief.

“So,” said Thor, trying to ignore the wheezing, clunking noises the van was making, “what now?”

“Don’t shut it off,” Loki said quickly, seeing Thor’s hand go towards the ignition.  “It might never restart.”

“Yeah, better to let it rattle itself to death,” Val said through another snort.

“We can’t afford to get stuck out here, there’s no cell service,” Loki said acidly.

“ _Mweh mweh stuck out here mweh mweh cell service_ ,” said Val.

Bruce groaned before Loki could retaliate.  “Oh my god, please shut up. Thor, didn’t you have a friend that used to live out here?”

Thor froze.  Out of the corner of his eye he could see Heimdall smirk.  “Um, no - no, what would give you that idea?”

“Yes, that’s right, you did,” said Loki.  “That American girl - what was her name…”

“Jane,” said Thor reluctantly

“Jane!  Ah, Jane.  Wasn’t she in astrology?”

“Astrophysics.”

“Jane the astrophysicist!” Loki said, rather _too_ enthusiastically.

“I’m into that,” said Val through a burp.

“Yes, I do remember you saying she lived around here,” Loki continued with a wolfish grin.  “Perhaps it’s time to pay her a visit.”

“No, no, that wouldn’t be a good idea,” Thor protested faintly.

Val scoffed and punched his arm.  “What are you holding back for? The van’s about to blow, we don’t have time to waste!”

“Oh,” said Loki, his tone theatrically morose.  “Dear me. I’ve just remembered. Things didn’t end all too well with Jane the astrophysicist, did they?”

“Oh sorry,” said Bruce, “I forgot she dumped you.”

“She - I - _no_ \- it was a mutual dumping.”

It was Val’s turn to give Thor a look.

“Anyway, we can’t go see Jane, I don’t even know where she lives - ”

“Funny, seeing as her address is still saved into your contacts,” said Loki, holding up Thor’s phone.

“Give me that - ”

The car rumbled violently and let out an enormous bang.  Everyone turned to look at Thor.

“Fine,” he groaned, pulling the car back onto the road.  “Let’s go see Jane.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey Jane… hypothetically speaking, why would a giant van be pulling into our driveway?”

“I don’t know - why do you ask?”

“Because there’s a giant van pulling into our driveway.”

Jane pushed past Darcy to the window.  “Why is there a giant van pulling into our driveway?”

Darcy flung her arms into the air.  Outside, the van squealed to stop and, with a massive groan, settled heavily into the dirt outside.  As Jane and Darcy watched, five people poured out of the van, which had now begun to smoke, and stood coughing in the driveway.

“Oh my god,” said Darcy.  “Is that - ”

But Jane was already gone, tearing through the house and leaving the screen door banging against the frame in her wake.  Darcy watched the following events through the front window.

Jane had marched up to Thor and stood panting before him, tiny and trembling with indignation.  She looked for a moment as though she wanted to hit him. Thor, for his part, looked a careful mix of terrified and contrite.  

“You,” puffed Jane, “What are you - ”

Then she took in the four people surrounding them and seemed to deflate a little.

“Hi - Thor,” Jane said stiffly.  “What, um, are you doing here?”

Thor looked helplessly at his companions, who looked blankly back.  He managed a smile in Jane’s direction. “Our van… broke down.”

“I can see that,” said Jane, eyeing the van.

“I can _smell_ that,” said Darcy from the front door.

Val lifted her drink in Darcy’s direction and took a swig.

“And we were wondering - hoping, actually - we could maybe borrow your phone - ?”

“And use your bathroom?” Bruce piped in.  Darcy waved him into the house and he ran to the bathroom with a quick, “Thanks!”

“... to call a mechanic,” Thor finished lamely.

Jane nodded, then her eyes bulged and she let out what sounded like a squawk.  “Shit!” she said, slapping a hand to her forehead. “You can’t - I mean - there’s no - shit!”  She began to pace the driveway wildly.

Thor looked to Darcy for help.

“The only mechanic within fifty miles is out of town,” she offered, leaning comfortably against the doorframe.

“What,” Loki said flatly.

Darcy shrugged.  “Family emergency.”

Val snorted.  “Figures.” She knocked back the rest of her drink.  “Is there like, a towing company we could call, or…”

“We’re not really a Triple A kind of town,” said Darcy.

“What kind of backwater - ” Loki began, but he shut up when Heimdall cleared his throat.

Jane had begun kicking at the steps of the front porch.  Thor cleared his throat for her attention. She whipped her head around to look at him, slapping herself in the face with her own hair in the process.  “Shut up,” she said, pointing a finger at him.

“I didn’t even say anything,” said Thor.

Jane looked at Darcy.  Darcy looked at Jane. A silent battle of wills seemed to ensue between the two women, until at last Jane let out a massive groan and turned back to Thor.

“I guess,” she said slowly, not meeting his eye but looking somewhere over his shoulder, “I can work on your car.  If you need.”

Darcy coughed.

Jane added through gritted teeth, “And you can all stay here in the meantime.”

Darcy flashed a megawatt smile.

Thor blanched.  “Uh - um - no, that’s - you really don’t have to do that - we can just, um…”

Loki folded his arms.  “We can just what? No, no, do go on, I’d like to hear the end of that sentence.”  Thor glared at his brother. Loki patted him on the back and smiled at Jane. “Thanks ever so much.”

“Yeah, thanks,” said Val, furrowing her brow.  She nudged Heimdall. “Thought he said she was an astrophysicist?”

“She’s good with cars,” said Heimdall, watching Jane approach the smoking camper van.  She popped open the hood and began to rummage around inside, at last pulling something out with a _pop!_ and tossing it to the ground.  Thor let out a pained gasp. The smoking didn’t stop, but it lessened considerably.  Val looked at Heimdall. He smiled. “She’s really good with cars.”

Darcy wrinkled her nose at the van.  “You guys can’t stay in there. It’s gonna take forever to fix that thing up.”

“We’ve got tents,” said Val with a shrug.

“Um, no,” said Darcy.  “That goes against every rule of hospitality my grandma ever taught me, so I was thinking we can just stockpile our blanket supplies and make like, a fort in the living room.”

“A fort?” said Loki with disdain.

“ _A fort_ ,” Darcy replied, mimicking his accent.  Val laughed, and she and Heimdall dragged Loki into the van to grab their sleeping bags and blankets.

Bruce at last came out of the house, wiping his wet hands on his pants.  “What’s, uh, what’s going on?” he said, looking at Thor who was hovering anxiously around Jane.

“You guys are gonna stay with us while Jane fixes your van,” said Darcy.

“Oh!” said Bruce.  “That’s neat.”

Jane twisted something within the car, producing a loud wrenching noise.  Thor bit his knuckle to keep from gasping.

“Yeah,” said Darcy.  “Neat.”

 

* * *

 

 

“So like, what’s the deal with him and her,” said Val, seated with her leg propped up in the window, watching Jane and Thor in the yard.

Loki didn’t look up from the book he was scoring, a heavy, pretentious tome he lugged around ostensibly to start conversations.  “Dated. Broke up. Dated again. Broke up again,” he recited, underlining a passage with a bit more force than was strictly necessary.

“Thanks,” Val replied, and tossed her apple core at his head.  Loki looked irritably over his glasses at her. “You look like a ninny in those glasses.”

“You look like my old lit T.A.,” said Darcy absentmindedly, sliding onto the bench at the kitchen table.  “Ugh, I had such a huge crush on that guy,” she said fondly.

Val raised an eyebrow at Loki, who scowled at her and returned to his book.

“Thor and Jane were a thing for a couple of years,” Darcy said to Val.  “Classic on-again-off-again. They kept breaking up because she wanted to focus on her research and the long distance wasn’t working for her - well, _actually_ , the first time they broke up he ghosted her, and then they saw each other at this frat party and got in this huge screaming match and then they both disappeared so I assume they hooked up because the next day they were back together.  And then the _second_ time they broke up was because of the long distance thing after graduation and Jane’s research.  I was always like, ‘Jane, why are you getting back together with him,’ but they have insane sexual chemistry, so I can’t blame her.”

Darcy looked at Bruce, who had been making the universal symbol for _wrap-it-up_ at her over Val’s head.  She frowned at him. “What?”

Loki rolled his eyes.  “Thor and Val have been dancing around each other for weeks,” he said.

Val abruptly stood up, knocked Loki’s book off the table, and left the room.

 

* * *

 

There are several ways to avoid talking to your ex when they are in proximity.  While not Jane’s favorite, hiding under their camper which you have offered to repair was turning out to be a particularly effective method.

Or it would have been, had said ex not been hovering around the van like an anxious midwife.

“Thor,” she finally called from under the car.

“Yes!” he answered, all too eagerly.

“Are you ever going to go inside?”

“No,” he said, “I want to help.”

The worst part: he meant it.  Jane suppressed a groan. “Fine,” she said.  “Can you hand me the torque wrench?”

“Uh - ”

She wheeled out from under the van.  “You know what a torque wrench is. I know you know what a torque wrench is.”

“No, it’s not that,” he said, and indeed he held the torque wrench in his hand, “it’s just that I couldn’t reach you under the car…”

“Oh,” said Jane, and she sat up.

“You’ve got, erm - ”  Thor gestured at her forehead.

Jane wiped at her forehead.  “What?” she said, frowning at the look on his face.

“Nothing,” he replied.  “You just - ”

“ _What_?”

“You only spread it around more,” he said, biting back a smile.

“Oh.”  She could feel her ears turning red.  “That’s nice,” she bit out. “Nice and… embarrassing.”

“It’s cute,” said Thor.

Jane looked at him.

“I mean, charming.  I always thought it was... charming.”

“Yeah,” she said.  “I’m gonna get back to - yeah.”  She began to roll herself back under the car.

Thor spoke before she could fully disappear.  “I know things didn’t - I know it was weird between us at the end,” he said.

Jane snorted.

“Both times,” he added reluctantly.  “I just want to say I’m - well, I’m sorry for the part I played in it.  And thanks. For helping us out. I wouldn’t have come to you if I’d had any other choice - ”

“Oh?” said Jane.

“I mean, I wouldn’t have bothered you,” he said hastily.  “I appreciate it. So… thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” said Jane, and slid completely under the car.  “So,” she said, once she was comfortably looking at the underside of the van, “who are the people you’re with?  I mean, I know your brother, and Heimdall…”

“Oh, well, there’s Bruce.  He was in our year, actually.  I met him in our last semester, but we only really started talking after graduation.”

“Yeah, no, I think I remember you telling me about him.”

“Right.  Well, erm.  Then there’s, well, there’s Val.”

“Yeah, her.  She’s pretty.”

“Oh, well, yeah, I guess - I mean, I hadn’t really noticed, but - ”

“How’d you meet her?”

“Through Bruce, actually.  I was talking about the trip with the guys, and he mentioned she’d be interested.  In the trip, I mean.”

“I got that,” said Jane.  And then with a nonchalance she didn’t feel: “Are you two a thing, or - ?”

“NO.  I mean, erm, no, we’re not - not a thing, no.”

“It’s okay if you are,” she said, “I mean we’re not together anymore, so.  It’s been a while since we. So if you wanted to. I’m just saying - ”

“Yeah, no, I get what you’re saying,” said Thor, sounding a little desperate for the conversation to be over.  “We’re just, erm - we’re not. So. There’s that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”  After a moment of Jane working in silence, he added, “She’s pretty cool.  Val. You’d like her, I think.”

Jane tried to think of an appropriate reply and could come up with nothing except, “Okay.”

She could see Thor’s feet shuffling in the dirt.

“Can you, um, hand me the crescent wrench,” she said at last.

“Sure,” he said, his voice sounding a little odd, and handed her the crescent wrench.

 

* * *

 

“What are you looking at,” said Loki, melting butter in a frying pan.

“You,” said Darcy over her cup of coffee.

It was not quite six in the morning, still dark out.  The house was quiet except for the sizzle of butter and the drip of the percolator.  Loki had gotten up early for some peace and quiet, impossible to find on the cross-country trip his brother had convinced him to go on, and found that his brother’s ex girlfriend’s roommate was not only awake too, but _observing_ him.

“Stop that,” he said after a moment.

She considered him.  “No,” she said slowly.

Loki huffed.  He cracked an egg into the pan and then said, “You’ll want an egg too, I suppose?”  He tried to inject as much venom into the question as he could, but clearly it wasn’t enough, because she replied:

“Sure.”

Now he had to make breakfast for her too.  He fried the eggs in silence.

She poured him a cup of coffee.  “Lemme guess,” she said, sliding it to him, “you like it black - _just like your soul_.”

“No,” he said irritably.

Darcy reached for the milk.

“I _do_ like it black,” he snapped.  “That’s just not why.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Hand me a plate.”

She did.  He slid an egg on her plate and handed it to her.  She handed him a second plate and he slid the other egg onto it.  They set their plates down at either end of the kitchen table, forks in hand.  Loki reached for the salt as she reached for the pepper, their knuckles bumping into each other.  Darcy pushed her egg around on her plate, watching him salt his breakfast liberally.

Finally, she said, “Wanna go have sex?”

“Yes,” he said, and followed her upstairs, leaving their breakfast behind.

 

* * *

 

“So,” said Jane, acutely aware of Val following her to the van one morning.

“So,” said Val, squinting in the morning light.  She made a face at the sun, gleaming weakly through the clouds, and watched Jane settle on the creeper and roll under Thor’s van.

Jane worked in silence for a few moments, Val shuffling her feet and knocking her fists together awkwardly before asking, “Can I help with anything?”

Jane coughed.  “Um. I mean. I think I’ve got it covered.”

“Oh,” said Val.  “Well, then - ”

“But I could always use the company,” Jane amended lamely.  “If you’re not busy.”

“Yeah,” said Val, “yeah, I mean - it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do in the house.”  She laughed, letting out a mortifying snort in the process, and immediately clapped her hand over her mouth.  She kicked feebly at the ground, unaware that Jane had seen it from under the car and bit back a smile.

“Is Val short for anything?” said Jane, her tone surprisingly calm after creating a wrenching noise from deep within the car.

Val eyed the little she could see of Jane’s elbow with concern before responding.  “Erm, no. Not exactly.”

“Ooh.  Okay.”

“I just hate my real name,” said Val finally.  “It’s super lame.”

“You can’t say something like that and then not follow up.”  From under the car, Jane could see Val flop down to recline in the dirt.

“You can’t laugh.”

“ _O_ -kay...”

“Brunnhilde.”

Jane bit her tongue.

“You’re being suspiciously quiet,” said Val.

“No, I’m not,” Jane choked out, and burst into giggles.

“You see why I changed it?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry - you just _really_ don’t seem like a Brunnhilde.”

“In school I started introducing myself as Val.  People assume it’s short for Valerie or Valentine or something and I let them.”

“It’s not a _bad_ name,” Jane said at last, catching her breath, “it’s cute, you know, like Hildy could be a cute nickname.”

Val was suddenly glad, for some reason, that Jane couldn’t see her holding back a smile.  “Yeah. Well. It’s been Val for like, ten years now, so.”

“Mm.  Does, um, Thor know your real name?”

“No,” said Val, and she leaned down to look at Jane under the car.  “And he better not _ever_ ,” she said.

Jane caught her breath.  Weird how it was so warm under the car when it was so cold outside.  She shook the thought away and smiled. “Your secret’s safe with me.”  Val eyed her for a moment, granted her a taut nod, and disappeared from view.

 

* * *

 

Darcy and Loki were Not Talking to each other.  This wouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary, since the two hadn’t talked much at all since Thor’s party had arrived, but they were so deliberately Not talking to each other that it was starting to make everyone else a little uncomfortable.

It wasn’t necessarily rare that they all ate dinner together - Darcy had insisted, in fact, that everyone take turns cooking, and tonight was unfortunately Loki’s turn - but Jane was usually the last to arrive at the table and the first to leave, Loki would excuse himself early to “rest,” and Thor and Val would pretend to try to help clean up while Heimdall and Bruce _actually_ helped Darcy clean up.

It was while Loki was preparing dinner that Heimdall and Bruce, in particular, started getting very uncomfortable with the conversation embargo between himself and Darcy.  They were standing at opposite ends of the kitchen, Darcy drying dishes with her back to Loki, Loki dicing tomatoes with his back to Darcy.

Bruce walked in and was about to offer to help when Heimdall, who was sitting in the living room looking enormously uncomfortable, gave him a stern look that stopped him in his tracks.  Bruce tilted his head quizzically. Heimdall shook his head. Bruce carefully backed out of the room, and Heimdall gave him a slow, approving nod.

It was hard to say if Jane’s extended presence at dinner that night was due to whatever was going on with Darcy.  Nevertheless, she stayed until everyone had finished and Darcy and Loki excused themselves early separately. Jane began to clean up and Thor was quick to offer his help.

Val would be hard pressed to say if the look shared between Heimdall and Bruce was one of relief or knowing.

It was while Jane and Thor were hashing out who should wash the dishes and who should dry them that Val began to feel that she would be better off in any other room in the house.

It seemed to her (though she did not express this opinion out loud) that Jane, as the person most familiar with the layout of her own kitchen, should be the one to put the dishes away, while Thor washed and Val dried.  (The logic in the latter half of this argument was that Val didn’t like touching dirty dishes and not at all that she was trying to prevent contact between the already giggling Jane and Thor.)

In the end it was decided that Jane would wash, Thor would dry, and Val would put away.

“Where does this go?” she asked for the fourth time, holding up what looked like a potato masher (even though Loki hadn’t mashed any potatoes, to her knowledge).

Thor and Jane turned to look.  Val tried to ignore the image they made, standing hip-to-hip at the sink.  Thor’s face split into a wide grin, his eyes darting to Jane.

“You still have that?”

Jane bumped him with her hip.  “Shut up,” she said, not bothering to hold back her own smile.

“Drawer at your left,” said Thor smugly, his eyes still on Jane.

Val smiled tightly.  “Thanks,” she said, put it away a bit more forcefully than necessary.

“I can’t believe you remember where the potato masher goes,” said Jane, turning back to the pot she was drying.  Thor, having washed the last of his dishes, settled himself comfortably against the counter to watch her.

“Is it like, a _magic_ potato masher?” said Val, her throat itching for one of the beers in the fridge.

Thor gave her a quizzical look before answering.  “It’s a - well, I got it for her at a - it’s a bit of a long story.”

“Ooh, lemme guess,” said Val, crossing to the fridge and pulling out a bottle, “I had to be there.”  She twisted the cap off with her teeth.

Thor was looking at her weird.  “You drink too much,” he said, very quietly.  She flashed him a sardonic smile.

“So you tell me.”

Jane was looking into the pot she had already sufficiently dried by now, but her towel kept moving gently around the edges.  Her teeth were worrying at her lower lip.

“What a fun turn this night’s taken,” said Val  She tipped the bottle to her mouth and marched out of the kitchen, leaving Thor and Jane to finish putting away the dishes in silence.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Jane crouched by Val’s sleeping bag in the living room, prodding her gently until she woke up with a bleary snort.

“ _Who_ \- “ said Val, her eyes casting about wildly.  Jane waited for her to blink herself awake.

“Want to come help me with the car?” she whispered.

Val groaned at the living room.  “What time is it?”

“Like, six.”

“What the fuck,” Val whispered.

“Everyone else is still asleep.”

“As god intended,” said Val, but she sat upright anyway and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.  She yawned. “I’ll meet you out there in a second.”

A second turned out to be a half hour after Val slept in for another fifteen minutes, but she came outside wearing real clothes with her teeth brushed, so that counted as a plus to Jane.

“Do you know anything about cars?” Jane blurted when Val came out of the house.

Val shook her head.  “I had a bike,” she said.  “But I never worked on it myself.  And Thor and the guys convinced me to get rid of it.”

“A bike like…?”

“Motorcycle, not like, a ten-speed.”

“Oh,” said Jane, blushing for some reason.  “That’s… cool.”

“I thought it would make girls more into me,” said Val, liking the way Jane’s ears were turning red.

“Fair assessment,” said Jane.  “Um, anyway, um. Yeah.”

Val let the silence wear itself out before she said, “I’d like to learn, though.  Beats watching Darcy and Loki eye-fuck.”

“Oh, totally,” said Jane, opening her toolbox.  She paused with a wrench in her hand. “Wait, what?”

“You know.”

Jane blinked.

Val’s jaw dropped.  “Oh, come on, you _know_.”

Jane shook her head, her eyes widening.

“They’re one hundred percent doing it.”

The wrench fell into the dirt.  “What.”

“They’ve been doing it since like, the day after we got here.”

“ _What_.”

Val began to laugh.  Jane rushed forward to shush her, which was pretty ineffective seeing as Jane was fighting giggles herself.

“No, no, shh!” she gasped, breathless with laughter, “You’re gonna wake the house up!”

Val fell onto her butt, pulling Jane - who was still trying to cover Val’s mouth with her hand - down with her.  They grappled feebly, but Val’s cackling only served to make the whole thing funnier to Jane, and soon they were both clutching their sides, letting out only faint wheezes.

Jane rolled over to look at Val, whose eye makeup from last night was streaming down her temples.  “I…” she gasped, “hate you… so much… for telling me…”

Val gulped in air and wiped away a tear.  “If I have to know, so do you.”

 

* * *

 

They got _drunk_ that night.  It was Darcy’s idea - or so Jane let everyone believe, and she would maintain this as absolute truth to anyone who asked for years to come.

Heimdall and Bruce had accidentally kickstarted the whole thing after uncovering a trove of board games in the closet.  Darcy came up behind them, startling them both (though Heimdall would not admit this).

“Ooh, Jenga,” she said through a mouthful of her granola bar.  “We should play.”

Heimdall and Bruce shared a look.  Heimdall quirked his brow. Bruce turned to Darcy with a smile.  “It’s on.”

Jane and Val came inside as they were setting up, laughing as they wiped the grease from their hands.  “You have a spot on your nose!” Jane said as Val dodged her approaching thumb.

Thor popped his head out of the kitchen, eyeing the two women with confusion (and admittedly a little panic) etched into his brow.  Darcy cleared her throat. Thor’s eyes snapped guiltily to her. She gave a toothless smile.

“Jenga?” she said innocently, and took another bite of her granola bar.

Heimdall was, of course, the undisputed Jenga master by round three, at which time Loki finally emerged from whatever hole he’d been hiding in to contest his championship.

Jane and Darcy found themselves in the kitchen replenishing the chip bowl together as Heimdall and Loki faced off.  Jane watched Darcy get a cup of water in silence before Darcy said, “What?” without meeting her eye.

Jane nibbled on a chip.  “Nothing.”

“Okay,” said Darcy, and drank her water.

Jane had never been good at holding out against Darcy.

“You and Loki?” she hissed.

Darcy shushed her ferociously.  “Shut up! It’s just sex!”

Jane moved closer.  “Just sex? With my ex-boyfriend’s _brother_?”

“ _Adopted_ brother,” Darcy muttered, as though that made anything better.

Jane chewed her lip and then said, with enormous reluctance, “Is he good?”

Darcy waggled her eyebrows.

“I need a drink,” Jane groaned.

“Now _that_ ,” said Darcy, opening their liquor cabinet, “is an idea.”

Ten minutes later, she walked into the living room holding a tray stacked with a bottles, glasses, salt, and limes and sang, “Who wants margarita-a-a-s!”

Jane followed meekly behind, holding chips and salsa.“It was Darcy’s idea,” she bleated, though nobody had asked.  They were too busy pouring shots at the coffee table to notice. Loki took it upon himself to act as margarita master, which Darcy tried to dispute until Bruce convinced her to try one of his margaritas. After that, she stopped arguing and sipped her drink in pleasurable silence, throwing glances Loki’s way in a way he refused to acknowledge but still made his ears red.

“Ja-a-ane!” said Val, dancing up to her with a margarita in one hand and a shot of tequila in another.  “It behooves you - as our _hostess_ \- to do a shot.”

Jane hid a laugh behind her hand.  Thor, watching from his Jenga match against Darcy, smiled instinctively without realizing it.  Darcy snapped her fingers in front of his face for his attention. “It’s your turn, Baywatch.”

“It behooves me?” said Jane to Val, who was moving the shot in a hypnotic motion in front of Jane’s face.

“ _Behooves_ you,” said Val seriously.  “Back me up, Heimdall.”

He nodded solemnly before he threw back a shot.  “Behooves.”

“Well, I guess if it _behooves_ me,” Jane agreed, reaching for the shot.

Darcy’s voice stopped her.  “Isn’t there like a rule somewhere that the first shot the hostess does has to be a _body shot_?”

Jane and Val locked eyes.  A charged moment hung in the air between them.

Jane broke the moment, turning to glare at Darcy.  “This isn’t a frat party, Darcy!”

Darcy shrugged and returned to Jenga.  Thor let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.  Val laughed uncomfortably and took a big sip of her margarita.

“Still wanna do the shot?” she asked, looking somewhere to the left of Jane’s ear.

“Oh yeah,” said Jane, and the moment was forgotten.  She licked the back of her hand, and as Thor and Val tried not to watch her tongue dart out, Darcy toppled the Jenga tower with a shriek.

Then Bruce said, “I’ve got weed?”

And that is when the night went from good to great.

At some point Darcy put music on and was trying to coax Loki into dancing with her.  Val leaned heavily against the doorframe and was fighting to be heard over the music as she told Thor about her mechanical accomplishments that day.  In the music’s defense, it wasn’t really that loud, Val was just that drunk.

“I’M THINKING OF GOING INTO MECHANICS,” Val said.  “Mechanics… BEING a mechanic. MECHANICISM? Fuck.”  She frowned at the ground, trying to work out the proper phrasing.

Thor beamed at her.  “That’s… nice,” he said, his gaze focused somewhere between her chin and her nose.

“I LEARNED A COOL CAR THING TODAY.”

“Yeah?”

“YEAH.  I wish I’d KNOWN this stuff back when I had my BIKE - ”

Bruce and Heimdall looked over from where they were smoking a joint by the front door and yelled, “BOO!”

Loki glanced up from his awkward dance with Darcy to ask, “What are we booing?”

To which Bruce replied, “Val’s death machine!  Boo!”

“Oh, excellent.  BOO.”

Darcy turned Loki’s chin to face her.  “Why are we booing that?”

“Because motorcycles are death traps,” he said, staring at her mouth.  Val picked up a fallen jenga piece and threw it at them. It whizzed between their faces, breaking their moment.  Thor burst out laughing at the petulant look on Loki’s face, while Darcy shrugged and resumed dancing on her own.

“Jane!” said Bruce.

“Hmm?” she said, looking up from her comfortable position in the beanbag chair.

“You wanna hit this?”  He held up the joint.

Jane rose uncomfortably from her seat.  “I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve never smoked before.”

“Ever?” said Val, incredulous.  “But you’re an ASTRONOMER.”

Jane laughed, bewildered.  “Yeah - what - does that even…”

“Jane doesn’t smoke,” said Thor smugly.  Jane hit his arm. “Ow!”

“Oh, please, it didn’t even hurt.”

Thor grinned at Heimdall.  “She’s right. It didn’t.”

Bruce held the joint towards her.  “You wanna try? No pressure.”

“LOTS OF PRESSURE!” yelled Darcy from her spot by the stereo.

Heimdall rolled his eyes.  “Ignore her.”

“No, I wanna try,” said Jane, “Just… don’t make fun if I do it wrong.”

“Nah, no way you could do it wrong,” said Thor, taking a hit himself to demonstrate.  He blew the smoke out the screen door with a grin. “See?”

“Please, watch this.”  Val demonstrated a French inhale.  Darcy whooped. Val waggled her eyebrows and passed the joint to Jane.  “Go for it, babe.”

Jane took the joint gingerly.  “Okay…”

Bruce began to coach her through it.  “Just do a little puff at first - oh, she’s going for it - ok, Jane, slow down a little - aw geez - ”

Heimdall took the joint from her hand before she could do any more damage.  Jane dissolved into a coughing fit. Heimdall slid a glass of water into her hand.  Val raised her eyebrows, impressed.

“How did you - ?”

“I saw it coming.”

Val laughed.  “Course.”

Jane had gulped down half the glass.  Thor was gently patting her back. She gasped, her eyes wide.  “Whoa.”

“You alright there?” said Bruce.

“Whoa,” said Jane.

“Why did you take so much?” said Thor, not sure if he was more concerned or amused.

“I wanted to make sure I was getting enough!” said Jane, so earnestly that the rest of the group dissolved into laughter - herself included.

Some time later, Darcy said to Loki, “I have a bong in my room,” which prompted Heimdall to whisper to Bruce, “I’ll bet she does,” as the two slipped upstairs.  Bruce nearly choked on his drink before replying, “We had weed… right here...” Heimdall shrugged, his eyes comically wide, and pulled a backgammon board out of the closet.

“What the fuck is that?” said Bruce.

“Backgammon,“ said Heimdall.  “You wanna play?”

“I have no fucking clue how,” said Bruce.  Heimdall looked at him like, _So what_?  Bruce shrugged.  “Sure.”

Jane was curled back up in her beanbag chair by this point, watching the room with hazy eyes.  Thor and Val came over to her as Heimdall set up the game.

“You alright there, little astro-mechanic?” said Val, poking her gently.  Jane turned to her with wide eyes.

“I am… _so_ good,” Jane whispered.

Thor bit back a laugh.  “You sure? You want to go to bed?”

Jane’s jaw dropped.  “With you?!”

“No, no, I just meant to tuck you in,” said Thor through his laughter.  “Val will help.”

“Oh,” said Jane.  She sounded almost a little disappointed.  “Okay.”

Thor and Val stood up, extending her a hand each.  Jane looked between them desperately. After a moment, she said, “Can you help me up.”  Thor and Val looked at each other before each hoisting one of Jane’s arms over their shoulders.  They had to crouch considerably to keep her legs from dangling.

“We’re gonna take Jane to bed,” said Val over her shoulder as they started Jane up the stairs.

“Okie dokie,” said Bruce without looking.  Heimdall flashed them a thumbs up.

“To sleep,” said Jane loudly.

“Okie dokie,” said Bruce, again not looking.  Heimdall rolled his dice.

They got her all the way up the stairs, into her room, and were about to tuck her into bed before Jane said, “We should be together.  As in threegether,” and mimed scissoring with her hands.

Thor and Val looked at each other, their faces turning the reddest they’d been in a long time.

“Oh?” said Val, clearing her throat.

“Oh,” said Thor, looking anywhere but at the women.

Jane reached for them both.  Val gently removed her hands from the hems of their shirts.  “Okay,” said Val, laughing awkwardly. “Time for you to pass out now.”

“Okay,” said Jane, already snuggling into her pillow.  “Bye bye.”

“Bye bye now.”

Val ushered Thor out of the room and pulled the door shut behind them.  They stood for a moment in the hall, looking at each other in stunned silence.  Thor was the first to speak.

“Okay, so… I’m gonna… yeah.”  He pointed down the stairs.

Val nodded.  “Right. I’ll.  Meet ya down there.”

“Right.”

“Not like, for - I just meant - as in - yeah.”

“Right, no, yeah.  Totally. Uh. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Down in the living room, unbeknownst to the revellers upstairs, Bruce was looking Heimdall over appraisingly.

“What?” said Heimdall, eyes trained on his backgammon pieces.

“Didn’t you used to be a legit mechanic?”

Heimdall’s lips quirked into a smile.  He shook a pair of dice in his hand, rolled them onto the board, and held a finger up to his lips.  “Shh.”


End file.
